


How Do I Quit You?

by MartinEA



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cheating, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:38:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3302711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MartinEA/pseuds/MartinEA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Annie Leonhardt finds herself in the same bed she was in four years ago. But before, it was warmer. Before it had the smell of cigarette smoke and the faint noise of a quiet snore could be heard from the other pillow next to her. Now it was only cold and unwelcoming. Now her place was not there, on the pillow that someone else had slept on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do I Quit You?

Annie slowly stirred and cringed at the sunlight, seeping through the open scenes. She sat up and her fingers through her tangled hair. A soft sigh escaped her lips as a pain shot through her, she drank too much last night. Too much and yet not enough for her to forget.

She closed her eyes and leaned on the headboard, the flashbacks from the bar coming up one by one, in no particular order. She didn't have to look down under the covers to realize that she's naked. She didn't need to look herself in the mirror to check if there were any bruises on her from last night. She remembered every single part. Every part that should've been drowned in alcohol, but instead was drowning her. 

She stood up and looked down at the scratch marks her lover gave her while holding tightly onto her, as if afraid she might escape. She looked down at the faint blue bruise forming on her innerthigh, that was soothed down with kissed afterwards, but the only thing that stayed were not the light pecks, only the mark of teeth on her skin. 

She only then noticed the yellow post it note on the pillow. Perhaps she was too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice the bright note, right in front of her. Or perhaps, she had been afraid of looking at the empty pillow with disappointment, that the raven locks were not thrown across it. She grabbed the note, hope swelling up in her heart, only to be drowned down by the neatly placed words, spelling out for her that she regretted it ever happening and wished that Annie would get out of there and forget all of it.

She gripped the note tightly, digging her nails into it, as if that would change what was written on it. She got dressed quickly, not wanting to spare another single moment in the house, that was once her home as well. She couldn't call it that anymore, though. Not with  _his_ stench covering up the sweet smell of her past lover's.

Annie grabbed her duffel bag, wearing the clothes she had worn yesterday and putting her hair up in a tight bun. The only hairstyle she knew how to do, to be honest. 

She passed by the framed photo of a young married couple, holding each other's hands tightly, their smiles as if brightnening up the whole place. She knew they were fake. She wanted them to be. Because, why would have she told her she wanted her back, if they weren't? 

She shut the door behind her with a loud 'bang', not caring if she drew attention to herself. In fact, she  _needed_ the attention. She needed for people to turn around and look at her. She wanted them to see her face of steel. She wanted them to see that she was fine. She wasn't about to cry from frusturation of getting turned down for the upteenth time. She wasn't about to break down and collapse on the ground, just because she was relapsing into her addiction of one person, who turned out to be the deadliest drug for her. She was not going to be the one who was crying on the speaker, whispering voice messages of love to the silent reciever. She wasn't going to be the one, crying on the floor, clutching to what was left of her clothes. She wasn't Annie from three years ago. She was okay now. She was back on her feet. And her life was going well for the first time in years. She didn't want her. She didn't want her back, only for her to ruin what was left of the Annie who was able to stand on her own two feet.  _  
_

She kept trying to convince herself, but her thoughts always went back to the small smile that she gave her the first time they met. She couldn't forget the way her raven hair flowed in the wind the first time they picked a fight with each other. She couldn't forget those strong arms, that always managed to hit vital spots whenever they were sparring, nor could she forget those piercing eyes that stared at her intensly whenever she was thinking hard on something or was just resting her face.

She finally got home. The air was no longer tense. She didn't feel like thousands of eyes were watching her, nor could she smell the intruder's deodorant. She was finally in her own castle. In her own little empire of silence, where she controlled everything. She sighed in relief as she walked into the shower, scrubbing hard on her body, as if to get rid of all the hickeys on her. But alas, that was impossible and soon her shoulders slumped in defeat. She chuckled dryly when she looked at herself. She always made sure her marks could be well hidden under any kind of clothing. She was always afraid and ashamed of her relationship with Annie. Always trying to hide the fact that they were together.

" _Typical"_   Annie muttered under her breath as she wrapped a towel around herself. She dried herself quickly and put on comfortable clothes for her: sweatpants and a stained tank top. She sank in her couch with a book in hand, not letting her mind wander off to unwanted memories. She just wanted to focus on the book and the fictional relationships they had. They were just mindless enough for her to get wrapped up in them. But at one point, she got stuck on a single line. She didn't realize she was reading it over and over again, as her thoughts interrupted her flow.  _"She had beautiful blonde hair and her big blue eyes, never ceased to amaze me."_ Her beautiful hair...Her beautiful black hair...Her beautiful short, black hair. She imagined it and without realizing it, she was soon reaching out to run her fingers through her hair. But she stopped herself in time and snapped the book shut. She had enough of reading for today. She should go to sleep, she thought as she put the book down and turned on her stomach, closing her eyes. 

She had read a lot of online articles and a ton of magazines on how to clear your mind. But none of them proved helpful as she soon found herself going back to the day they met. 

She sighed and turned on her side, maybe accepting the past was the step closer to getting over her. 

Annie clenched her fists tightly as she looked back on the first time they laid eyes on each other. 

 

 _"Annie!" Reiner's booming voice rang through the room as he walked towards me, swooping me up in a big bear hug. I grunted a reply as a form of greeting to him and he finally put me down "I got you some new members!" He grinned down at me as he pointed at the people behind him. There were three of them, two guys and a chick. I only recognized Bertolt from the bunch._ _A tall, anxious looking man, who looked like he was about to faint, just from seeing the sandbags hanging from the roof. Next to him was a shorter man with freckles like constellations across his cheeks. I eyed him observingly as he smiled at me warmly. The two of them looked so weird next to each other. The last person I saw caught my attention. She was stoic and her body was well built. She had done this before. It was clear from her very gaze. She looked like she was comfortable, in her zone. I smiled slightly in the corner of my mouth. She was going to be perfect for sparring._

_I turned to Reiner, who was watching me expactantly, clearly happy with my reaction. "You take care of the two guys, I am interested in the chick." I said as I walked over to the black haired beauty in front of me and threw my gloves at her. Reiner lead the other two to the sandbags for their first lessons. "You've done this before, haven't you?" I asked, as I gave her a small smirk._

_She shrugged "Can't say I haven't." Her face looked unamused, but I could read in her eyes the faintest bit of challenge. She was testing me._

_My smirk widened as I walked towards the ring "We will see how good you are." I said as I put on my other gloves, not caring about the binds._

_She returned the expression with one of her own "We certainly will." She put them on and we briefly touched gloves before we started._

In the end I lost the sparring match. But I won her number instead.

 

 


End file.
